Career Tips - Issue # 26 (Oct. 2005)

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The Winning Image

You can't see it when you look into a mirror. Others can't see it when they look at you. Hidden, but it's deep-rooted for it has been forming since you were a kid. Meet your constant companion: Your self-image--who you "think" you are.

To understand self-image, let's travel back in time.

- Can you remember an incident from your school days when a teacher appreciated your work and said something encouraging to you?

- Can you remember an incident when your mother or father appreciated you and said something nice about you?

- Can you remember an incident when a boss of yours said something positive about you?

Now, recollect the opposite experiences: When a teacher, mother or father and boss said something discouraging.

Perhaps, you can easily remember some of the above incidents and that too, in vivid details. For example, you may even remember where you were, whether you were sitting or standing, was it morning, afternoon or night and other details.

These incidents, if you remember, are not normal memories. The very fact that you remember them shows they are special. Actually, they all contribute to your self-image--who you "think" you are.

Why worry about self-image? Basically, self-image affects the way we act or operate in daily life, which, in turn, affects what we achieve/don't achieve in our career.

No one is a better proof of this connection between career, self-image and inputs received in the childhood than the former CEO of GE, Jack Welch. In fact, he considers his bringing up by his mother so important that the first chapter in his autobiography, Jack: Straight from the Gut, is devoted to this very topic. In this chapter, he describes how his mother pumped self-confidence into him. He provides two telling examples:

When he came home with 4As and 1B in his report card, his mother would ask him why he got a B, but she would always end the conversation by talking about As and congratulating him. How many parents and teachers would care or even understand the need for making kids realise that they've strengths--and not just weaknesses?

He used to suffer from a speech impediment--stuttering. So whenever he ordered a tuna sandwich, waitress in his school canteen used to bring a pair of tuna sandwiches. She always heard "tu-tuna sandwiches." Here again, instead of allowing Jack to suffer from an inferiority complex, his mother told him, "Your mind works so fast that no tongue can keep pace with it."

He says in his book that the greatest gift his mother gave him was self-confidence and that's what carried him to the great heights in his career.

Jack confirms what Sigmund Freud, Austrian neurologist and Founder of psychoanalysis, has said: "A man who has been the indisputable favourite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror."

You may notice that the sons and daughters of big businessmen have no problems is taking over the reigns of business even though they may be too young or lack experience. Similarly, people born in royal families behave like kings and queens without any inhibitions. Sons and daughters of prime ministers and presidents walk easily into the shoes of their parents. Why? Among other factors, they carry a self-image that matches with the role they aspire or ought to play.

>>CAREER TIP:Self-image is critical to success in career. We may consciously think of becoming anyone, but if our self-image, which resides in sub-conscious, doesn't match with our aspirations, it would act like a hidden barrier.

Ask yourself two questions:

1. My dream is to....
2. Do I really believe that I deserve to achieve the above dream?

If you find some gap between what you wish to achieve and what you feel you really deserve, it could be due to limiting self-image. Many times, the self-image can be so limiting that we may be even afraid to dream for bigger and better things in our career.

Here are some ways to get rid of unhelpful, limiting self-image:

1. Reasoning: Confront the self-image that you don't find helpful and closely examine it. Question it. Is this image based on facts? Do you really think it is true? Once you're convinced that you are unnecessarily holding an unhelpful self-image, discard it and replace it with a positive self-image based on new reasoning.

For example, being an engineer, I know many engineers typically hold this negative self-image, "I can't be a manager." The solution is to think for a while why you think so. What do you lack? Are managers born, not made? Can't you learn managing people? Is it very difficult? When you examine it closely, you may find it is a baseless image that you have been carrying. Throw it away! Do it with any image that you don't find helpful.

2. Visualisation: Visualising ourselves doing what we wish to do is another way to slowly form a new self-image. For example, I personally hold a limiting self-image, which tells me, "I can't write a novel." But the way to get out this limiting image is to imagine that I am actually writing a novel; it has been published and I am doing book-signing. Wow! Let's see when that image becomes a reality.

We all know how athletes and sportsmen use the technique of visualisation to shed limiting beliefs and achieve peak performance.

3. Affirmations: Do you notice we constantly keep talking to ourselves? Unfortunately, we often tell ourselves negative things, like "I can't do this. I am not so good at that."

All you have to do is to learn to talk positively to yourself. Say, "I'm an excellent manager. I am working in a well-paying, enjoyable job." The trick here is to say it so many times that our sub-conscious starts believing it. Then, we will act to make it a reality.

Your current self-image may be a product of inputs received from significant others. But that doesn't matter. What matters is whether you recognise its importance and take control of it.

To win, first have a winning self-image.

Atul Mathur

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***Copyright 2005 Atul Mathur***

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