Career Tips - Issue # 20 (July 2005)

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The Art of Relaxation: From Thermometer to Thermostat

Have you ever been caught in the following situations? I've been and it's difficult to forget those experiences.

- You are unexpectedly asked to speak in front of a group, and when you stand up to speak, you find yourself at loss of words. But afterwards, when you're alone, you get all kind of ideas about what you could have said and you wonder why you couldn't speak confidently at that moment.

- Your aggressive client or boss seeks explanation for some apparent slip up and you suddenly lose your balance, become defensive and give in, only to realise later that it was not entirely your personal fault.

- Someone suddenly asks you an unexpected question during an important meeting and you fumble with the answer. But afterwards, you realise it was not such a difficult question to deal with.

- You provide an unsatisfactory answer to a question during an interview, but afterwards, you feel you could have given a better answer.

Though appearing different, all such experiences confirm one common phenomenon: Our ability to think and act wisely depends to a great extent on whether we are tense or relaxed.

When we get tense, we lose the ability to think clearly and that's the reason why many times we can't perform when put under pressure. On the contrary, when we are relaxed, we enjoy unobstructed access to our creativity and intelligence.

The goal is clear: To avoid situations in which we're put on the spot and land up behaving awkwardly, we need to learn the art of staying relaxed--especially when the outside situation is not so relaxing. This is useful for dealing with difficult people, attending important meetings, speaking in public and doing well in interviews.

>>CAREER TIP: We already know how to relax. Don't we, when we get stressed up, go for a cup of coffee or light a cigarette or walk to a colleague for a short chat or start surfing? All these actions have something in common: They help you to divert your attention from what is happening around you--and that's why you feel relaxed. But none of these strategies can help when you're sitting in a meeting or standing in front of a client. There is a better and more effective way to relax when the heat is on. It involves four steps:

1. Practice relaxation: During the course of the day, just pause once in a while, and take a few deep breaths, relax your shoulders and eyebrows. Yes, that's pure relaxation. It's not about breath, shoulders or eyebrows; it's about ability to deliberately shift attention from outside to inside and gain self-control.

2. Visualise: Well before you go for an interview or meet an aggressive client or attend an important meeting, visualise yourself performing in a relaxed way during the encounter. This is the way athletes train themselves to perform at their peak under highly tense conditions. It works!

3. Switch to relaxation mode: When you do encounter a tense situation, pause before you react and switch to relaxation mode: deep breaths, relaxed shoulders and eyebrows. You'll be able to do so if you practice as suggested in item 1 above.

4. Preparation: If it is something that requires prior preparation, such as an interview, public talk, etc., prepare well. The more prepared you are, lesser will be the need to evoke relaxation response.

When we fail to perform under pressure, we act like a thermometer, allowing outside situation to control our emotional temperature, thereby adversely affecting our performance. By learning to relax whenever and wherever you want, you become a thermostat. You regulate your own emotional temperature regardless of the situation or person you're dealing with.

Remember, when you're put on the spot, you will lose connection with your creative thinking and intelligence if you don't stay relaxed. And so, the first response to any tense situation should be to...relax (deep breaths...)!

The Key to Your Untapped Potential: Leap of Faith

If you hold a ball in your hand and then release it, it will fall down. Nothing spectacular about this phenomenon except that it demonstrates how potential energy (energy of position) gets converted into kinetic energy (energy of motion), and how energy is conserved in nature. The law of conservation of energy, however, bears an interesting relationship with our career.

In the context of career, what we are truly capable of doing is like potential energy and what we are actually doing (i.e., action) is like kinetic energy. When we do stuff that closely matches our potential, our career moves at a good pace and we feel good. But when we stagnate, it is an indication that somehow we not making full use of our potential energy and failing to convert it into kinetic energy.

So what holds a person's potential energy and why not all careers move at a fast pace? The answer can be best understood by the following encounter I had just yesterday:

I met with a gentleman who is an avid reader of daily newspapers. Whenever I meet him, most of the time he talks about the news he has read in the past few days. Interestingly, he remembers a lot of what he reads. So I casually asked him if he ever thought about writing. I told him, "Reading is a must for becoming a writer and since you read so much, perhaps, you can become a writer." His answer was telling of how people hold back their potential energy. He replied, "I don't write well. Who will pay for it? I don't think magazines would pay. And then, I don't think there is any place in the newspaper for people like me to write." After hearing his barrage of objections, I told him, "Please write first and don't bother about anything else." He seemed not quite convinced but I was convinced about what holds a person from releasing his/her potential energy: Inability to see the value of "leap of faith."

>>CAREER TIP: Most of us know somewhere in the corner of our heart that we are capable of doing bigger and greater things but we hold back paying attention to numerous obstacles and our beliefs about what is possible and what is not. Yet, if you look back at your own career, you might realise that quantum jumps in your career happened when you took a leap of faith and attempted something that didn't seem all that possible. It could be attempting a very difficult examination or applying for a job in a foreign country or seeking employment with a seemingly stringent company or agreeing to shoulder a responsibility that you were not so sure of handling well. In other words, quantum jumps came when you took a leap of faith without worrying too much about the outcome.

Next time, whenever you get a bright idea about doing better, bigger or greater, notice how it will always come attached with a bundle of obstacles to convince you why you shouldn't pursue your idea. At that stage, remind yourself that unless you take a leap of faith (like you've done in the past) and make an attempt, your potential energy will remain stored but untapped.

As for my friend whom I advised to write, I hope he closes his eyes, leaps into the unknown and starts writing. That's the only way to release the trapped potential energy.

Take a leap! Let the ball fall.

Will be back after two weeks.

Atul Mathur

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***Copyright 2005 Atul Mathur***

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